From Swipe to Script: How AI Is Rewriting the Rules of Online Dating

Dmitry, a 35-year-old from Miami, lingered over the profile of a woman he had just matched with on a dating app, uncertain about how to break the ice. Looking for inspiration, he turned to Rizz, an AI-driven app that calls itself a “pocket dating assistant.”

He uploaded screenshots of his match’s profile, which mentioned her love for skiing, summer concerts, and fine wine. Dmitry who requested to go by his first name only for privacy then asked Rizz to come up with an opening line. Within seconds, the app delivered.

He sent it, and the response worked. “Rizz gives me quirky, funny suggestions,” Dmitry says. “It helps me start a conversation with something that stands out something that gets their attention.” The app, he adds, has helped him move from endless chatting to actual in-person dates.

A wave of AI-powered dating tools like Rizz is quickly reshaping how people flirt online. These virtual wingmen help users write messages, improve bios, and even decide when to walk away from a match. For some, it’s a confidence booster. For others including relationship experts it’s a warning sign that authenticity may be taking a back seat to automation.

Rizz, short for charisma, now boasts around 15 million users worldwide across its mobile and web platforms. A monthly subscription runs $19.99, though the company will not say how many people are paying. “I want Rizz to make conversation feel natural more human,” says founder Roman Khaves. “The goal is to get people off the apps and into real-life dating faster.”

A growing share of daters may already be unknowingly talking to AI. A recent Kinsey Institute and Match Group study found that more than a quarter of U.S. adults and nearly half of Gen Z users rely on AI tools to craft messages and filter matches.

Another player, YourMove AI, offers virtual assistants that create dating profiles, generate replies, and touch up profile photos for $12.99 a month. Its founder, Dmitri Mirakyan, launched the app in 2022 to help people who feel anxious or awkward navigating the often-transactional nature of dating apps. “Rejection, ghosting it’s painful,” he says. “I wanted to make the process feel less discouraging.”

But the rise of AI dating tools raises a deeper question: can artificial intelligence truly spark genuine connection? Many users say the moment a message feels too polished, suspicion sets in.

Sophie Sherwin, a 52-year-old writer from London, recalls chatting with someone on TikTok who sent her replies that sounded “too poetic, too perfect.” She began to suspect the use of ChatGPT. “They were flawless and people aren’t flawless,” she says. Though the person never confirmed using AI, Sherwin admits she would not have minded if they had just been honest about it. “The danger,” she says, “is falling in love with perfection perfection without connection.”

Dating coach Grace Lee in New York argues that the focus should shift from outsourcing communication to teaching it. She uses AI and VR simulations to train her clients for real-life conversations. “Apps invest millions in algorithms and design,” she says, “but almost nothing in helping people truly express themselves.”

Relationship psychologist Gary Lewandowski offers similar advice. “Eventually, you’ll be on a real date with the real you,” he says. “So, you need to be comfortable being that person.